Frederick Frederator Fucking Loud Jesus Joseph Christ "Fred" Flintstone (rom. フレッドフリントストーン Fureddofurintosutōn), is the main character of The Flyns-tones, as well as the husbando of Wilmaewa Mou Shindeiru and father of MonkaS & PlebbleBamm-Bamm Margera Pebbles. He is best friends with Barney Rubandtuggle, his next-door neighbour, who smells Fred's ass.
Hey! No one's askin' you to smell it!
Fred lives in the fictional and evolutionary and non-scientific non-Answers in Genesis prehistoric town of Bedrock LOL LIL WAYNE AIN'T FRED FLINTSTONE BUT I CAN MAKE YA "BED ROCK", at 420 Cave Stoned Road (in some episodes, 455 Gobble Cock Way or 222 Rocky Way), an anencephalistagoranonheteroconformanecronimicanachronistic world where dinosaurs coexist with modernized barefoot (fuck yes mmmm whomever made this page thank you ;D) cavemen and the cavemen enjoy "primitive" versions of modern conveniences such as vibrators, G Vibes, and Hitachi Magic Wands. Fred Fuckstone's catchphrase is "YABBA DABBA DAZE!", which is also heard at the beginning of the theme song and the film. No shit everyone knows that.
Fred has since appeared in various other cartoon spin-offs, live action adaptations and commercials, which all sucked ass. This show was garbage. Watch Mr Enter's Animated Atrocity where they introduce the alien into the show. He gave it a 2/10.
Personality and occupation
Fred is a Twitch streamer who donates 10,000 pebbles to gamer girls who don't deserve it. He is also a team member of Liquid, and plays Overwatch. He is constantly pushing for everyone to form a cancer comp.
Despite his apparently anti-social character, Fred's actions are shown to be usually free of any malice, apart from whenever he must relieve his sexual desires by forcing his cave cock into Bamm-Bamm's tight little boy pussy. And, although he almost constantly screams and irritates Bamm-Bamm's infant ears, Fred provides fresh cotton to plug Bamm-Bamm's ears as to prevent bleeding from aural disturbances as well as mental trauma.
According to "The Flintstone Kids" (which is non-canon), he is shown to be the son of Ed and Edna Flintstone. In its TV special, it is shown that he has a cool cousin from HollyRock who has a band of his own and not only doesn't use drugs, he is in a "Just Say No" club, eventually inspiring Wilma to start one of her own. JK near the end of the TV special both Fred and Wilma do blow off an underage hooker's ass.
Fred mainly has been shown to be faithful to his neighbor, Barney, but this has not stopped him from pursuing other men. Examples of this include Mr. Stone, his gorgeous secretary in The Flintstones film, who often seduced him in order to distract him while he and his boss, Cliff, framed him for embezzlement. Fred very clearly enjoyed being seduced by the beautiful man, and was even caught in the middle of a very "intimate" moment with him by his furious wife. Fred drips precum from his uncut, filthy cock, usually drenching the bare rock floor of his bedrock abode.
Other examples include Maggie, Fred's beautiful co-star in Bedrock's production of A Christmas Carol in A Flintstones Christmas Carol. The two often enjoyed rehearsing their love scene together, which included a passionate kiss. As well as the "Mystery Woman" from The Flintstones: On the Rocks, who was staying at the same resort as Fred and Wilma while the couple was on their second honeymoon, but Fred spent most of his time fantasizing about her.
In Bedrock Crusaders, Fred is established to be roughly 6"5", attractive and very well built, even as a teenager. His stand is somewhat similar in appearance, often appearing just a slight bit taller.
He lives in the anachronistic town of Bedrock. He wants to invent new things so he can end the Stone Age. In The Snorkasaurus Hunter, he adopts a talking dinosaur named "Dino" (with Wilma's persuasion). However, despite being able to talk in his debut, Dino instantly loses his ability to talk and becomes the dog-like pet we know and love.
Later in the series, Fred became a father to Pebbles Flintstone, which helped die down his bad temper a bit, as he loves his daughter very much. Barney and Betty frequently visit Pebbles in a few episodes, but when Fred gets annoyed, he tells them to stay away from her.
Soon, Barney and Betty find a young boy named Bamm-Bamm on their doorstep and adopt him, which causes Fred to make amends with Barney.
Older Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm
Fred is also a major character in the (non-canon) spin-offs starring older versions of Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm. He resumes his bumbling parent and hothead role from the original series.
In this series, Pebbles grows into a beautiful teenager and becomes Bamm-Bamm's girlfriend. In this series, Fred and Barney are reduced to secondary characters and only appear a few times.
Fred and Barney start feuding and stop being friends. Upon finding out that Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are going to be married, they decide to end their feud and raise money for the wedding. However, things go from bad to worse when Wilma and her mother kick Fred out of his house and is fired from his job at the quarry. He and Barney decide to go to Rock Vegas to find Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm.
They locate Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm at a casino where Barney wins lots of money. However, the four are mistaken for thieves and are sent to jail. However, they are then proven innocent.
Fred, Barney, Pebbles and Bamm Bamm finally return to Wilma, Betty and the others. Mr. Slate rehires Fred, Pearl and Wilma apologize to Fred for the mistake they made and the abuse they gave him and Pebbles and Bamm Bamm get married. At the end Pebbles and Bamm Bamm reveal they are moving to Hollyrock with Barney paying their way with his Rock Vegas winnings, at which Fred gets angry with Barney and they start to argue as the film ends.
Pebbles becomes pregnant and Fred is abotu to become a grandfather. However, as soon as they arrive, Fred, Barney, Wilma, and Betty start telling the kids what to do and how to do it.
After running into some trouble with the law, Pebbles gives birth to twin babies, Chip and Roxy. Fred and the others return home and decide to leave Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm to take care of their children themselves.
Fred gets into the Christmas spirit by hanging up decorations and being altogether joyful while awaiting the arrival of his daughter Pebbles, her husband Bamm-Bamm and their twin children, daughter Roxy and son Chip. After learning that they will arrive at 4pm, Fred and Barney leave to get their turkyssaurus for dinner. However, on the way back home they are mugged by a Santa. Fred hands over his wallet and watch and orders Barney to give him the bird, but while tossing the turkyssaurus the Santa "breaks" in half. Seizing the opportunity, the two run away from the mugger.
When Fred and Barney get to the police station, they identify the thief, who turns out to be a "caveless" abandoned child named Stoney. According to the social worker, Stoney used to be the horror of foster homes because of his stealing habits. Feeling sympathy for Stoney, Wilma decides to adopt him, despite Fred's initial reluctance. They try to show Stoney that they trust him and attempt to teach him that stealing is wrong.
However, things get slightly bleaker when Pebbles and her family get stuck in an airport because of a blizzard. The Rubbles and The Flintstones then go Christmas tree shopping, but can't afford any that aren't "smaller than their grandchildren". Stoney attempts to help by convincing people to bet on him as he plays a game in order to earn enough money for the Flintstones to buy the tree. When a man loses, he chases Stoney, who runs for cover near Fred. The man claims that Stoney cheated him, and Fred asks if this is true. Stoney then truthfully replies "no", and when Fred believes him, he gets hit in the head with a tree by the man.
Fred then goes to the hospital, but his boss informs him that he can't participate in the Christmas parade (which is something Fred is quite eager to do since the beginning of the movie) and when he tries to protest, his boss finalizes his "no". To make it up to Fred, Stoney poses as his boss's driver and locks him up in the Flintstone's bathroom, which will allow Fred to participate in the parade. Instead, Fred saves his boss and ends up in jail, where he eventually bonds with Stoney. Fred even consoles Stoney that cutting corners to get what you want is not the solution. However, the social worker then takes Stoney away, and meanwhile Fred's boss makes him go to the parade. While there, Fred saves Stoney.
At home Fred sees Pebbles and her family, and Stoney bonds with the twins. Fred says that the new addition to the family gets to put the star on the Christmas tree. Stoney thinks Fred is referring to Roxy and Chip, but it turns out it is him and he becomes a Flintstone. Bamm-Bamm helps him put on the star and they all have a happy Christmas.
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Fred and Barney are the mascots for Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles Cereal. In these commercials, Barney would try to steal his cereal using cheap disguises that Fred would easily fall for, despite being obvious it was Barney. Sometimes, there would be commercials that feature Fred and Barney as their normal, best buddy selves. In the final commercial aired worldwide, Fred suffers a mental breakdown after realizing that for roughly fifteen odd years he's been screaming at and cussing out his semi-retarded neighbor over a box of cheap-ass sugar flakes. Fred presses a loaded Colt .45 to his right temple, and just before pulling the trigger states "I know I shouldn't, but I yabba dabba don't give a fuck anymore. G'bye Barn, look after the kids for me." After Fred blows his brains out all over Barney and his beloved bowl of Post Fruity Pebbles cereal, the screen fades to black, and only ten seconds of audio containing what can only be described as gutteral moaning is played. Both Cartoon Network, Fox Kids and Nickelodeon pulled the commercial from airing after three weeks of airtime. The commercial still airs to this day on several Egyptian and Ugandan television networks.
In the stop-motion commercials, Barney no longer tries to steal Fred's pebbles. A running gag in the stop-motion commercials is that Barney doesn't add 64 pieces of Pebbles cereal to his spoon, he breifly turns into either a bird or a wooly mammoth.
Both Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles are enjoyed nationwide by poor white trash families. In 2014, Post was sued by multiple families after is was revealed that both cereals contained trace amounts of human bone meal, feces, and several psychoactive chemical compounds.